Sunday, December 31, 2006

Bear Lake Adventure

We had a fun little vacation at Bear Lake with Brad's family just after Christmas. We stayed at this really nice cabin that had six bedrooms and lots of room. And a great view of the lake (you can see it there in the background).



Grandma brought some crafty things for the cousins to do, like decorating Gingerbread men with marshmallows, candy and frosting.



Of course, Ty wasn't interested in decorating the cookie--he just kept putting frosting on it and eating it. Yum Yum.


We rented snowmobiles one day and went riding around the trails above the cabin. Way fun! Brad took Ty on a little ride and went really slow so I wouldn't worry. Ty loved it!


June brought little New Year's toys from England that pop and have little toys in them, along with crowns. Ty is blowing the little horn that he got, and we're all wearing our crowns.

Except for our car getting stuck on the hill on our way out (John ended up towing us with his truck--we brought chains, but they didn't fit our tires!) we had a really fun time. Everyone got along and the cousins had a great time getting to know one another again.

Monday, December 25, 2006

A Merry Christmas

Through a child's eyes,





There's Hope, there's Peace, there's Love.





I can almost see Heaven above--through a child's eyes.


Thursday, December 21, 2006

Good Morning


As much as I LOVE Tyler's bedtime (think Hallelujah Chorus), I love seeing him again in the morning when he's sweet and cute and well-rested. He's not an early riser, which I am sooooo thankful for, so usually around 8:30 every morning I start to hear little chatter and singing. Then I hear, "Mommy!!! Wake up!!! Wake up Mommy!!" Even though he got a big boy bed a couple weeks ago, he still treats it like a crib (with the gates on the side it kinda still is like one), so he won't get out until I come in to get him. He's always sitting up playing with his bed "friends". Let me tell you about them.

In the picture he's holding the binks that he's collected througout the night. He collects them and puts them "away" until the next nighttime. (It's progress!)

His favorite blankies include:

Africa (the one pictured)
Bluey
Fringy
Balloony
Fuzzy
Quilty (also known as Mommy's Pillow)
Alphabetty, and
Giraffy

I think it's interesting that he hasn't stuck with one that's his favorite. He rotates and wants different ones at random times. Same with his animals and dolls:

BelleBelle (well, I think this is his very favorite)
Doggy (the hyper silly one of the bunch)
Payton
Debbie
Froggy
Monkey
Lion, and the newest one:
Gingy (the gingerbread man that a nice lady won in one of those claw vending machines and gave to TyTy. So nice, huh?)

No wonder the crib was getting too small!!!

After we inventory and talk to every friend on his bed, I sit in the rocker and we talk about his night and talk about our upcoming day, and where Daddy is, etc. It's a time I'm starting to treasure.

Monday, December 18, 2006

My Sincerest Apology...


Dear Nurse at the After Hours Clinic in the Sandy Mall:

It must be hard working off-hours on a Sunday, dealing with people that can't wait to see their normal doctors on Monday. I'm sure I didn't make it any easier for you yesterday.

After seven days of non-functioning, and not getting any better, I decided I needed to come see you. Wearing my little mask they gave me to protect others from sickness, I gave you all my info: no meds except Ibuprofen and Sudafed...Oh wait, I did use my Albuterol inhaler on Wednesday night... No, I don't smoke...Started my period a couple days ago...On a scale of one to ten, my throat hurts an 8.5 or 9...Mother of a headache last night...still stuffed up...a little nausea...husband and baby had cold last week...aches...fever...terrible cough...yes, green sputum.


I sat up on the exam table like the perfect patient. You looked in my ears: all good. I breathed for you: lungs sound good. And then--I should have warned you, but I forgot. I was too relieved to be taking off the little mask (it gets hot in there!) that I didn't realize what was next. All of a sudden you stuck a stick in my mouth and another stick with a swab on it. I couldn't warn you about my overactive gag reflex. But you sure did find out about it, didn't you? And you also found out first-hand about the green sputum. Just be glad my nausea kept me from eating anything earlier in the day! As you wiped off your face and hands, I didn't even see one look of disgust! You, dear nurse, are a professional!

Test Results? Positive for Strep. I really do hope you have a good immune system, dear After Hours Nurse. So sorry.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Random Stuff



We went to a birthday party for our niece Emma's first birthday. Ty was so excited to go. He chose to give her (with the help of Daddy) the same Refridgerator magnet singing farm animals that he has. I was running a bit late and Ty kept saying, "Vamanos!!! Let's go!" I guess Dora is doing some good. (He can count to ten in Spanish, too!)

Little Emma tearing through her cake!



Tyler saw Grandpa taking a nap and said he was "seepy", too.

The other morning I heard Ty yelling something from his crib. I went in there and he was saying, "It's on! Outside! It's on!" I asked him, "What's on?" "The sun!!" he said, "It's on outside!!!"

Monday, November 27, 2006

A Prayer


I was sitting at my computer, doing my eBay, and Ty was playing on the bed. All of a sudden I hear:

Heavy Father... so much... Mommy... Daddy... grateful... Pez Hinckey... Daddy work... Jee Christ... Amen.

Is that sweet or what? This is the first time I've heard him say a prayer by himself--Brad or I have always helped him. Of course, I gave him so much praise that after that he kept saying, "again! again!" He must have said five more exactly like it. By this time, it's getting a little old, but I don't want to say "no more prayers," so I just said "one more time," and after that he said, "All done!"

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Good Times!





Oh I just about lost my lunch over today's Rivalry Game between BYU and Utah! Talk about a nailbiter--I couldn't take it. I had to leave and go pick up some Cafe Rio in the middle of the madness. Of course I listened to the radio in the car, so I didn't really get away from it that much. It came down to one play with 3.2 seconds left, BYU down by four, just inside the ten yard line. AUGHHHH!!!! The play lasted FOREVER, but just as John Beck was getting tackled, he found his pal Johnny Harline on the other side of the endzone, threw across his body and just barely connected. BYU by 2!!!Finally after four years, they did it! Just barely, but they did! You gotta give props to the Utah team--they showed up to play! And the crowd just about killed us they were sooooo loud! Those Utes sure do hate us!

Now I worry about the Las Vegas bowl. Chances are likely right now that BYU could play Oregon. That is my worst football nightmare! I hate it when my two favorite teams play each other. I don't want to see either of them lose their bowl game. But there's no question that my loyalties have to be with BYU on this one. I know these boys. They've been through some hard times the last few years, and this has been a magical season, and for so many of them, it's their last.


Thanksgiving was great fun this year. We were at my parent's house and we just had a fun time. The kids went swimming, we played pool and dominoes, told stories, just talked, and ate some really good food. Everything tasted so good this year! It was also nice having Great-Grandma with us from the Boise area.

This is during a game of chickenfoot.



TyTy and Maddy became best cousin buds.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Thursday Thirteen #9



Thirteen Embarrassing Moments



1. Wetting my pants in the first grade. We were sitting there on our little carpets listening to Miss Murata read out loud. I asked if I could go, but she said no. So I went anyways. Right there on the carpet. I had to go to the office and wear borrowed clothing until my mom came.

2. In fourth grade, I tripped over someone’s chair and hit my head on a desk. I didn’t realize it was that bad until all the kids started screaming, “You’re bleeding!”. I had to go get stiches.

3. In third grade, I was showering in my parent’s shower for some reason, and I saw my dad’s razor. I decided to shave my face, just like he did. Only I shaved my WHOLE face, including my eyebrows! Oops! And it was the day before school pictures!

4. I got the lead in the school play: Sound of Music! Everything was going great until I fell down the stairs and my shoe flew into the audience and hit a lady in the head. After that, everybody was like, “Did you have a nice trip? See ya next fall!

5. In high school I was a DJ for a local radio station. As I was giving the weather report, I accidently said it was “farty” out, instead of “forty.”

6. My wedding day: we’re kneeling at an altar, pledging to love each other for forever. Brad gets through just fine, but when I get asked, instead of answering, my throat catches and I can’t say it!

7. On a triple date in college, we’re back from the event, just hanging out in our apartment. My roommate offers to crack my back (why, I can’t remember!) and when she does, I let out this big fart! Needless to say, I never saw that guy again!

8. My favorite teacher also happened to be the dad of the guy I really liked in 8th grade. When he found out I liked his son, (thanks, Kenny, for blabbing) he would say things like, “Is there anything you want me to put under his pillow tonight?” and “It’s okay if you like my son, just don’t start calling me dad!”

9. It was a snowy day at BYU, and I was walking home. I was stopped at a light, when a bus came by and totally drenched me with dirty slush! I had to walk home freezing and muddy and wet, with people staring the whole way.

10. I was singing at my brother’s wedding reception and forgot the words to the song I was singing. I ended up not finishing because I just couldn’t remember the words!

11. As a health teacher, I was teaching the kids the harmful effects of tobacco on the lungs. I had forgotten my overhead drawing of the lungs, so I just drew some up on the chalkboard. As soon as I did, the whole class started laughing! I didn’t know why, until I stepped back and saw what they saw: my drawing of lungs looked just like the male anatomy! I just said, “Oops...the sex ed lesson isn’t until next week!” Needless to say, I never attempted to draw anything again.

12. First day of college, I struggled to find my classroom on time. I made it just before the bell. The teacher came in and started lecturing. About halfway through, I realized I was in a senior literature class, not freshman English! I just bolted out the door and didn’t look back.

13. I was on swim team and was finishing a long practice. Only problem was I wasn’t feeling too well. Doing the breast stroke, I accidently swallowed a bunch of water as I was getting my breath. It resulted in throwing up my lunch all over the pool! You’ve never seen a pool vacate so fast!





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Monday, November 13, 2006

Monday's Poem

Routine
Arthur Guiterman


No matter what we are and who,
Some duties everyone must do:

A Poet puts aside his wreath
To wash his face and brush his teeth,

And even Earls
Must comb their curls,

And even Kings
Have underthings.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Ho Hum...


Kinda weird...this has been a busy week, so much so that I haven't really blogged, but not the type of busy that is really interesting--just boring busy. So I'll just touch on the highlights.


1. Voting
This was the first time Utah used electronic voting machines. Except for a big debacle in Utah County (what's new?), they worked well, and were pretty easy to use. Even all the old ladies in my ward said they liked it!


2. Orange Jello

I had an opportunity to volunteer at the Deseret Dairy on Wednesday. For four hours we packaged and weighed and inspected packets of orange jello. Oh...my...gosh. I don't know how people do it that have a full-time job on an assembly line. That is the most monotonous thing I've ever done! I'm glad I was able to go, though. It was very interesting seeing Welfare Square. Neat place!

3. Music Orientation

This was my first time orienting anyone to a calling. We finally got music people for Relief Society and I got to meet with them and get them excited about the importance of music. Kinda cool.




4. BYU vs. Wyoming

I was excited to see this game--Wyoming was supposedly the second best in the Mountain West. Umm...either they weren't playing too well, or we're a LOT better than I thought. At 55-7 it wasn't much of a contest. It is so fun to see the team so confident and efficient. What a great season!

5. ebay

This has taken up most of my alloted "blogging time" this week. My Mom and Dad recently received as a gift some items that they didn't really need (supplements, hair stuff, etc) so they passed them on to us, almost as a joke. We didn't really need them, either. So I thought: I wonder if these would sell on ebay? Umm...yeah. I've listed 16 items, eight are still up for auction, and we've made almost $300 so far!!! Who knew that people would pay $43 plus shipping for eight bars of soap!!!!!

Monday, November 06, 2006

Monday's Poem

Poem to Be Read at 3 A.M.
Donald Justice
Excepting the diner
On the outskirts
The town of Ladora
At 3 A.M.
Was dark but
For my headlights
And up in
One second-story room
A single light
Where someone
Was sick or
Perhaps reading
As I drove past
At seventy
Not thinking
This poem
Is for whoever
Had the light on

Saturday, November 04, 2006

More fall pics


Here are some more of our attempts at a 2yr picture. None of them turned out because of the poor lighting, but there are some cute rejects!

It looks like it's totally dark, but it was just way overcast. I'm learning that lighting is VERY important when taking pictures! Bear with me as I keep experimenting!

First attempts at striking a pose!




Tonight as we were rocking before bedtime:
Tyler: Mommy, I love you. Mommy, I love you.
Me: I love you, too, Tyler. Very much.
Tyler: Oh! Thank you, Mommy!

Friday, November 03, 2006

Not too Bright

I know, I know, it's just a "botched joke,"
but I think this is pretty funny!



Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Thursday Thirteen #8



The Next Thirteen Items That are on My Calendar (as of today)

1. Young Men's activity(Brad)

2. Work Retreat in Park City (Brad)

3. Welfare Committee Meeting(Me--what's wrong with this? Brad gets a retreat in Park city and I have to go to a boring meeting? Hmm....)

4. Meet Andrea and Spencer at Carl's Jr for lunch and play. (Me and TyTy)

5. Adoption Celebration at Boondock's (whole family!)

6. Watch BYU play Colorado State. Go cougs! (whole family!)

7. Family Home Evening with Brad's Parents, tiling their bathroom (whole family!)

8. Vote at Liberty Elementary (me and Brad)

9. Relief Society Presidency meeting (me)

10. Watch friend's baby while she packs (me and Ty)

11. Thursday night game: Wyoming vs. BYU Go Cougs! (whole family)

12. Payday!!!!!

13. My neice Amanda's ninth birthday.



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Halloween Clown

We went to my Mom and Dad's condo last night to trick or treat around there. Our little clown loved his costume. He kept saying, "Face, huh?", because he liked his face paint so much.


He didn't quite get why all this candy was being offered to him, but he definitely didn't complain!

Monday, October 30, 2006

Monday's Poem


After the Rain

Your Smile,
with the spectacular softness
of a rainbow,
makes me
laugh and wish I were
the sky.

--Paul B Janeczko

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Perfect Man and Woman

I saw this on Lynda's Blog and thought it was pretty funny.

I think I'll pass it on. It's a little animation called
The Perfect Man and Woman.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Onions

Two days ago, my friends. Two days! I made a little Carribbean rice dish with some onions in it. Okay...a whole yellow onion chopped up and a big bunch (is that what they're called?) of green onions (and cilantro, too. Yum). But it's been two whole days and I still reek. I knew it was a problem Thursday night when I went to a Relief Society meeting and my friend Becky, who was sitting by me, left early! (Well, maybe she had somewhere else to go, but I doubt it!) In the shower it smells like I'm shampooing with onion, and even now my keyboard is being infused with it because my fingertips are dripping with onionness. I know in the book Holes, onions are all great for you, but I've seriously got to rethink my onion policy if I'm planning to continue on living in civilization!

In other news, my new ebay digital camera is a bust! I should have known you can't get what you want when you pay only $40 for it! Dang.

We went to a ward Halloween party yesterday, and Ty was the cutest little clown there! But I'll have to wait until I get the pics back from the photo lab before I can post them. Bummer.

BYU beat Air Force today. Way to go Cougs!!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Thursday Thirteen #7

Thirteen Things I Would Do if I Won Deal or No Deal

Although it’s mostly annoying, sometimes I can’t help but watch Deal or no Deal for a few minutes, at least. So here’s what I would do if my suitcase held the million dollars and I didn’t accept a deal from the banker.

1. Tithing.

2. Save some for a nice, but not overboard house.

3. Take whole extended family on a cruise.

4. Buy a boat.

5. Save for children’s educations and missions.

6. Travel the U.S.A.

7. Research charities and give to one I really believe in.

8. Hire a cleaner to come in once a week.

9. Probably revisit the fertility doctor and try more options.

10. Fly instead of drive home to Oregon.

11. Give back to BYU.

12. Buy a Subaru or maybe a Pacifica.

13. Save, save, save!

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Monday, October 23, 2006

Monday's Poem

Collard Lake at Dawn (Florence, OR)


Dawn breaking as I woke,
With the white sweat of the dew
On the green, new grass
I walked in the cold, quiet as
If it were the world beginning;
Peeling and eating a chilled tangerine.
I may have many sorrows,
Dawn is not one of them.

--Derek Walcott

Friday, October 20, 2006

Birthday Boy


We celebrated Ty's 2nd birthday this week and it was a lot of fun. He had a little party with his best friend/cousin Spencer.

Here they are on the froggy at the little playland.



My first attempt at cake decorating. Very amateurish, I know, but Ty loved it. He kept talking about his "Elmo Take."



His first trike. He can't quite ride it yet, but he sure loves to climb up and down on it.




Thursday, October 19, 2006

Fall Pics Finally!


Well, since I couldn't download our pics directly from the camera to the computer, I broke down and took the media card to a kiosk and made a CD. What a pain. Our camera has been on the fritz for months--I finally just bought a new one yesterday on ebay.



This is the cutest one of him actually looking at the camera, I think.



Ty and his daddy.



"Hold on, Mom and Dad. Just...gotta...zip...this...up."



If you're happy and you know it...

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Thursday Thirteen #6

Thirteen Things that Stink about Having a Sick Child


1. Worrying that although he always has high fevers, that this 104.7 degree fever is different than the others.

2. Doctor telling you to just wait it out.

3. The constant whining.

4. Forgetting when you gave him medicine last.

5. Being totally homebound.

6. Missing your normal, cute, happy child.

7. Not being able to take him to nursery.

8. Wasting food because he won't eat anything.

9. Snot!

10. Puke!

11. Diarrhea!

12. Waking up every 20-30 minutes.

13. "Negotiating" with your spouse about whose turn it is to get up.

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Real Mom

So where’s his real mom? you ask me oh-so-sweetly.
Oh, do you mean his birth mom? I reply, matching your sugary tone.

Inside I cringe.

Where’s the one who
Dries his
tears?
Cleans his
messes?
Rocks him to sleep?
Comforts him when he’s sick?
Cries when he's in
pain?
Encourages him to go for it?
Makes his PBJ sandwich with no crusts?
Teaches him his ABC’s?
Changes his diapers?
Reads the same book over and over?
Laughs at his cute little jokes?
Loves him
unconditionally?

Where is his real mom?


Lady, you’re looking right at her.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Stop the Clock

He’ll be two in two days and I want to

stop the clock. Sure, there are moments when he’s

not so cute: saying "owie, owie!" and crying at the slightest

bump; pressing the buttons on the DVD player so it takes

an hour to set it up right again; pushing away any and all

food we put on his plate; crying out for his binkie at

three-thirty in the morning. But I’d take all that a

thousand times over if I could just keep the way

he loves to snuggle at night; his cute,

"Love you, Mommy" right before I turn out the light;

the constant "I did it!" thrill after accomplishing any

task; the way he loves to "help" us do dishes, take out the

garbage, make the bed, sweep the floor (okay, this could

sometimes be in the annoying column); his fascination with

all lights on or off; his love of hide-and-seek:

"Where’s Ty? Here I am!";

the joy he finds in little things, "jump!jump!jump!".

Oh I know there will be moments of pride and joy in the future:

choosing to be kind to a new kid at school; sacking the

quarterback in a football game; cooking his first dinner for the

family; earning an A in a really tough class. But I wonder if

those moments will bring with them a little ache in my heart

for the little boy–so sweet and innocent–that he is right at

this moment. There will come a day when he doesn’t sing with

gusto at his Barney cartoon; when he doesn’t run to Mommy

and ask me to kiss his foot that he just hurt. He will

probably be embarrassed by me at some point, and

wish I wasn’t his mom. And that’s okay.

But for now, I want to hold on to this moment

in time where his daddy and I are his whole world.

He’ll be two in two days and I want to

stop the clock.

Monday's Poem

The City

If flowers want to grow
right out of the concrete sidewalk cracks
I'm going to bend down to smell them.

-David Ignatow

Sunday, October 15, 2006

No New Pics

What's worse than trying to get cute fall pictures up in the canyons with a boy who's sick and not had his nap?

Trying to get cute fall pictures up in the canyons with a boy who's sick and not had his nap and then getting home and realizing that the camera is broken and will not download said pictures!!! (This same little boy already broke the nice zoom lens from our other camera) We have no more working cameras!

JCPenney, here we come! We tried!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Thursday Thirteen #5


Thirteen Smells I Love


1. Hyacinths. (The first smell of spring. Aaaahhh)

2. Just after a summer rain.

3. Mom's beef stroganoff in the crock pot. (One sniff of that and all's right with the world)

4. Chlorine. (Think swimming pools, not Clorox)

5. Lemon Dishwasher Detergent. (I love to smell this one so much, one time I accidently snorted it up my nose. It burned. I wouldn't advise doing that.)

6. Mom's Chanel #5. (I would never wear it myself, but everytime I go to a mall, I smell it and think of her)

7. Luv's Diapers. (clean, of course!!!)

8. A new box of Crayola Crayons.

9. Chocolate chip cookies baking.

10. A newly opened can of Tennis Balls.

11. Salty Ocean Breezes.

12. Noxema. (I love this stuff! Maybe because it used to soothe my sunburns)

13. Cilantro. (I would put cilantro on just about anything if I could!)










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Monday, October 09, 2006

Monday's Poem

I was looking through my files and there are so many poems that I love, I thought I would share one every Monday. One of my favorite poets is Carol Lynn Pearson. She puts into beautiful words what I often feel. Here she writes about adoption:

ON PURPOSE

The little girl unfrowned and then
Sort of smiled when
After hearing the dictionary definition

She was told that what adopted
Really meant was

Searched for
Prayed for
Worked for
Finally gratefully got
Unquestionably on purpose
And loved a lot.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Patience Really Is a Virtue

It seems like our life has been on hold for a while. Waiting for this, waiting for that...as I've struggled to figure out why Heavenly Father continues to teach us this lesson over and over again,(we thought we had it down with the infertility thing--Haa! There was so much more to come, and probably still more!)I've found peace in really trying to have faith in God's plan for us. At our church's General Conference, there was a talk on patience that I felt was written just for me.

Elder Robert C. Oaks said, "Patience may well be thought of as a gateway virtue, contributing to the growth and strength of its fellow virtues of forgivenss, tolerance, and faith." I totally get this. For years in my health class I taught kids about the gateway drugs: alcohol, tobacco, and marijuana. I get the concept. I believe in the concept. The more patience I can have, the more forgiveness, tolerance, and faith I will have--the more charity I will have, thus, the more Christlike I will be. I like this. It's something I can really work on that's manageable, but will have great consequences.

My impatience draws me away from the Lord. Elder Oaks went on: "Elder Neal A. Maxwell linked patience and faith together when he taught: "Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father. Actually, when we are unduly impatient, we are suggesting that we know what is best--better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than His." I really shouldn't even pretend that I know better than God. He knows me better than I know myself, and He loves me, so I will trust in him and His plan, even though I don't understand everything right now.

I'm choosing to be happy in the moment. Where I am right at this time. I can live with not knowing. Look at all I have to be thankful for in this picture alone!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Thursday Thirteen #4


Thirteen Things I Want to Start Doing Again


1. Play volleyball on a city league team. I used to play all the time in high school and college. What stops me from doing this is finding a team to play on. I should just ask the city if there's a team that needs another player.

2. Read my Scriptures Regularly. My scripture reading has gone way downhill since Ty was born, and I really don't have a good excuse. I could be reading instead of writing right now.

3. Write up Family Stories. I started this project, but haven't put much effort into it lately.

4. Sing in a Good Choir. Again, here's one I did a lot of in high school and college, but miss as regular adult citizen. There've got to be community-type choirs out there, right?

5. Go back to School for a Degree in Social Work. My passion is adoption and I would love to be a part-time adoption/birth parent worker.

6. Invite people we don't know that well for Dinner. We used to do this all the time when we lived in Provo.

7. Workout Regularly. Tyler screams bloody murder every time I take him to the Gold's Gym daycare. But I could go at night when Brad gets home. Morning before Brad goes to work is NOT an option.

8. Play more games. I love card games and board games. We should play more.

9. Write in my Journal more often. Although this one is kind of done if I print out my blog entries.

10. Keep in better contact with old friends. Because they're such old, dear friends, sometimes I don't work as hard at keeping in touch with them because I know they'll always be there. Shame on me.

11. Paint with Watercolors. I used to love doing this, but living in apartments has halted it. I need a room where I can just keep all my creative stuff out if I want to.

12. Travel more. Between me quitting my job (less money) and Brad getting newly hired (less time-off), and having a baby, we really haven't travelled like we used to. Hopefully that will change. We've opened a vacation savings account and have plans for a Florida vacation in 2007.

13. Go to Enrichment Night. This is a night at my church where the ladies get together to do various activities. It really is a great way to get to know people, but my social anxiety pops up and I usually end up not going.







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Monday, October 02, 2006

Death, Leaves and Rain

So Ty and I go to meet my grandma (in town for conference) and Mom at my great-aunt's house today. We're going to go out to lunch. I thought they said noon, but it turns out they said 12:30, so we're quite early. It's at a retirement residence, and I think of just going up and visiting with my aunt, but I'm not sure which apartment is hers, so Ty and I just wait outside on the nice swing they have.

I've met this aunt before--she's 96--but it's been a few years and I'm actually looking forward to getting to know her better. (She's really my Grandpa's cousin whom we just call "aunt") Anyway, Mom and Grandma finally come and Ty is so excited to see them. We make our way to Auntie's door, but there's no answer. Her paper is still by the door. Grandma mentions that she didn't answer the phone when she called earlier. We try the knob. It turns. We call out her name. No answer. Could she have gone down to the cafeteria for lunch? Grandma goes inside and a second later calls out to my mom, "She's still in bed! Could she be dead?" My mom, an experienced RN goes in to take her pulse. I take Ty out in the hall. Mom comes out, and nods--she's gone.

Hmmm...it's a bit unsettling. My first thought is my son--although he doesn't understand this, he doesn't need to be around it, and we don't need to be in the way. And since we're obviously not going out to lunch now, I say that Ty and I will leave. I look at my Grandma. My 91 year-old Grandma, who says repeatedly to us not to shed a tear when she goes because she's the happy one, is shedding a tear to herself. I hug her and my mom goes to find the administrator. I'm sad I didn't get to know this lady more before she passed.

Later on in the day, Brad and I dress Ty up and head toward the mountains. The fall leaves are PERFECT right now, and since Ty's b-day is in a couple weeks, we think we'll try to take his 2-year old pictures on our own in the beauty of the leaves rather than hassle at JCPenney again. Oh, it is gorgeous!!! We get a couple of pics and then the rain comes pouring down!!!! It was clear the whole way up, but it has to start right when we start! Oh well...we'll see how they turn out. We drive toward the sunny part of the valley and find a little park with an old pioneer cabin that's pretty cute. We take some picks there. Little kiddo isn't the best smiler in the world for the camera, so we'll see. We may end up at JCPenney in a week or two!

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Thursday Thirteen #3


Thirteen Great Moments from My Life


1. Our Wedding Day It was just so neat kneeling at the altar with all our family around and having no fear, just excitement!

2. Tyler's Placement What an incredible day, going to pick up our son; seeing him for the first time. All this joy wrapped with feeling so much for his birth family, who were going through so much pain with such courage.

3. Playing Maria in the Sound of Music It was totally fun being the lead in a play. I felt on top of the world during that time--even when I fell down the stairs during an entrance and my shoe fell off into the audience!

4. Kim's Baptism This was on my mission, becoming so close to Kim and Candee, and finally seeing Kim enter the waters of baptism--this was true joy!

5. First date with Brad After being just friends as missionaries, it was so "electric" when we met the first time after our missions, and could actually see each other in a romantic way.

6. Singing at my High School Graduation This was the biggest day of my life up to that point--so many emotions--and to be able to sing and represent my class at our last gathering meant a lot to me.

7. Receiving my Mission Call I felt an instant love for the people of Oklahoma when I got that call. It was an amazing feeling.

8. Coming home from my Mission As much as I loved my 19 months working my hardest every day, it was a great sight to see all my family and friends waiting for my plane with signs and balloons. They were all so proud of me, and I was so proud of myself!

9. Getting accepted to BYU Although there's no way my high school grades would get me accepted to BYU today, luckily for me, in 1994 a 3.4 GPA was enough!

10. Our Jazz Choir winning 3rd in the Nation my Sophomore Year A year after our legendary choir teacher died, we all felt we did that for him.

11. Getting My First Teaching Job It was July by the time I got hired, and I was getting worried. I was at my Temporary Secratery job when I got the call. I felt so grown up, having a job that actually needed a degree!

12. My first date in College Let's face it: I wasn't the prettiest girl on the block, so when I finally got asked out by a boy I really liked, I was too excited for words.

13. Brad getting hired at his current job. We knew from the beginning of our adoption process that this was what Brad was meant to do. So after quitting a perfectly good job, going back to school for a Master's, and putting off settling down, it was a big relief to get hired.





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Tuesday, September 26, 2006

First Kiss

So, it's your first kiss and several questions might come to mind:
Is it the right time?
Is anyone watching?
Does your partner even want to?
Is your breath fresh?
And the big question...
Am I doing it right ??

Then you lean in and just go for it!!!

Monday, September 25, 2006

Criticized

I got my first parental criticism yesterday. We were sitting in church, enjoying the program, but struggling to keep Tyler quiet and occupied. He has a really loud voice and doesn't seem to understand that we need to use our indoor voice. Plus, he loves to talk about anything and everything he sees, so you can imagine our plight. Plus, it was right at his naptime.

Anyway, I get a tap, tap on my shoulder and this lady from a row behind, whom I've never seen before gives me a note. In the note she proceeds to tell me that she's a former special ed teacher and here's how to get children to behave, blah, blah, blah. The rest of the meeting I felt like she was judging my every move.

I know she meant well, and probably those things had worked for her, but all I took from it was, "You're not doing it right!" What I really could have used is a sympathetic nod, or "Your boy is so cute, talking like that." Or anything supportive.

After crying for part of the afternoon, I learned a lesson. Even though the advice may have been good, I wasn't in a place to receive it. I didn't know her; we'd had no previous encounters. I was stressed already just trying to keep him quiet. That just wasn't the time or the place to give me that note! Today, I plan on calling my good friend who shares the same parenting philosophy as me and talk it over with her.
The lesson is: just be kind and compassionate. People don't need advice as much as they need love.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Uplifted

I went to a general meeting for my church's women's organization tonight and I feel really uplifted. The theme was "Encircled eternally within the arms of His love." The music was really pretty, and so were the talks. I'm glad I went, and so glad my Mom is here to go to these things with. God loves each of us; sometimes we just aren't still enough to feel that love.

In other news, my Cougars finally won again! Granted, it was against Utah State, but a win is a win. And it was a shut-out. I just wish all those guys didn't get injured!

Brad interviews on Friday for job transfers to Boise, Idaho Falls, and Denver. Any three of those places would be great for us, but I prefer Boise because of family there. And it's right in the middle of Eugene and Salt Lake. We'll see, though. Rumor has it that they want women for the Birth Parent work. (Brad is a Social Worker)

Ty has been a bit bratty since we got home from vacation. I think he was used to getting attention 24/7 with his cousins and Grandma/Grandpa. He is almost two, as well. I don't know. I just try my hardest to make sure I'm not contributing to his bratiness. I know kids go through phases, but I don't want to raise a brat.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Thursday Thirteen #2


Thirteen Things I Loved About Our Vegas Trip


1. Five days with just my sweetie and myself!!
2. Warm, tropical weather.
3. Knowing it was raining at home!
4. Crossword puzzles in the car.
5. The Desperado Rollercoaster over and over again! (until Brad got sick)
6. Squirting unsuspecting people on the log ride.
7. Free dinner and show tickets for an hour's worth of a hard-sell timeshare presentation.
8. The nice community center people who let us use their computer for free so I could check my ebay bid.
9. All the interesting people we met: Henry at the coffee shop, Maria at the hotel, the nazi Russian lady in Primm...
10. Sleeping in until whenever we wanted (and a great hotel curtain that kept the room so dark we had no idea it was so late!)
11. Reading poolside into the evening.
12. Great food (with great coupons!)
13. Knowing our little Ty was well taken care of by Grandma, and seeing his face light up when he saw us again.




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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!





Friday, September 15, 2006

Hey Baby, Let's Go to Vegas!


In less than 24 hours my Honey and I will be on our way to Vegas for our longest vacation without Ty since he was born! I feel a twinge of guilt, but I know this will rejuvinate both of us so much that the guilt goes away. Oh how we need this break! Brad finally has enough vacation hours to take some time off, and hopefully we'll get some sleep! We're going to go on the greatest roller coaster I've ever been on: The Desperado in Primm! I'm so excited--I'd better get going on the laundry and packing!

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Thursday Thirteen #1


Thirteen Things about Me



1. This is my first Thursday Thirteen and I'm so excited, I had to do it on Wednesday!

2. I have the greatest husband on the face of the earth. He is so patient and sensitive and selfless. We are best friends and full partners in everything. I am so blessed.

3. I am the mother of a very cute almost 2 year old, whom I adore like I've never adored a human being before. I worry about being able to love another child who comes into our family as much as I do Ty, but all parents of two or more say it's not a problem.

4. I am a former teacher--I taught at a Junior High for a few years before deciding to stay home with my boy. I miss the kids, but I don't miss the daily grind.

5. I am an advocate for adoption. So many people see it as a horrible thing that a birth mother could "give up" her child--I know that it's not. Our son's birthmom had nothing but love and a heart in the right place when she chose a better life for our son than she could give him. Of course it was terribly hard for her, but she did it anyway because of unselfish love for her child.

6. Politically, I am confused and disgusted right now--with both parties. I'm sick of politicians bashing each other rather than just doing something. I don't know who to believe, and I certainly can't trust the biased media! I am more prone to vote for someone I trust and believe is an honest individual than someone who is my particular party. (Which doesn't really matter to me because I tend to be towards the middle)

7. Music is very important to me, because it has such power to affect my emotions and make me think. I love listening to it, creating it, and dancing to it. I love singing with my son and seeing his budding love for all things musical.

8. I miss my home state of Oregon. I hope to settle there someday.

9. I have an almost unhealthy interest in college football, especially the BYU cougars!

10. I am a Mormon. Some people I've encountered have been taught (usually by their own preachers) that we are a cult, that we aren't Christians, that we are polygamists, and who knows what else. I don't know why they focus on us rather than their own teachings, but the fact is, all that is wrong. I don't consider myself any weirder than anyone else. Basically, I am a person just like anyone else that believes in Jesus Christ and I am trying my hardest to live a life that reflects my beliefs.

11. I wish people could just get along. Why can't we stop judging and calling people hypocrits and just allow others to think or believe differently than ourselves?

12. My weight is an issue in my life that won't go away. I'm tired of dealing with it right now.

13. My family is most important in my life.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)



Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!



Friday, September 08, 2006

Favorite Places in the World

I was thinking last night about places that are most comforting to me, or most exciting or beautiful that I've been. Here are some of my favorite places in the world. Hopefully I'll add more to the list as I see more of the world (a major goal of mine). Feel free to add yours to the list.

--Floating on my back on Collard Lake (Florence, OR)
--Sacred Grove (Palmyra, NY)
--Base of Mt. Timpanogos, Alpine Loop (Provo Canyon, UT)
--I-70 west of Denver, CO
--Mirror Lake Scenic Highway(Uinta Mountains, UT)
--My parents' deck overlooking Fern Ridge Resevoir at Sunset (Eugene, OR)
--Heceta Head or anywhere on the Oregon Coast
--The drive from Crater Lake to Roseburg, OR
--Arches National Park (Moab, UT)
--Ozark Mountains (Arkansas)
--Sheeps Meadow, Central Park (Manhattan)
--Portland LDS Temple grounds (Lake Oswego, OR)
--Top of the Roller Coaster at Buffalo Bill's (Primm, NV)
--Yellowstone National Park

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Quotes I Like

I saw on someone else's blog a site, http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3, where you go and read quotes and come up with the five that fit your beliefs or personality best. Here are mine for what it's worth:

1. Never tell anyone that you're: writing a book, going on a diet, exercising, taking a course, or quitting smoking. They'll encourage you to death. (Lynn Johnston)

2. Holiness is doing God's will with a smile. (Mother Theresa)

3. Two men look out through the same bars; one sees the mud and one the stars. (Frederick Langbridge)

4. Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too. (Voltaire)

5. Every person has free choice. Free to obey or disobey the Natural Laws. Your choice determines the consequences. Nobody ever did, or ever will, escape the consequences of his choices. (Alfred A. Montapert)



Dad's Surgery

My dad is going in for a heart procedure tomorrow. My dad--who's sixty-eight but can still kick my butt in tennis--is going to have instruments messing around in his heart. They say it's a normal, routine, less-invasive procedure with a 99% success rate, but my heart still has a little fear in it.

For better or for worse, my dad has always been there. We've had our moments, but I know I can ALWAYS count on him. I just pray everything goes well. I don't think I'm ready to face my parents' mortality yet.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Life as a Cougar Fan


I have been so excited for football season. Excited and scared at the same time. Scared because I've been burned before. As much as I love my cougars, as blue as my blood runs, they can turn on me at the drop of a hat. Sometimes I feel like being a cougar fan is like asking for abuse: I know they'll hurt me, but I keep coming back for a beating.

The wallpaper on my computer is a BYU Football poster that says "Tradition, Spirit, Honor." After Saturday's game, I think it should say "Tradition, Spirit, Penalties." Why, why, why? Why is it always the same story? Arizona did not beat us in that game--we beat ourselves.

Sometimes I wish my affections were not so strong. I grew up an Oregon Duck fan--I still am, really. They're second in my heart. It's pretty easy to be a duck fan. They can give you a scare sometimes, but you know they'll come out okay. Being a Cougar fan takes loyalty and heart. I know they're going to put me through the ringer, but you can bet I'll be dressed in my Blues and Whites come this Saturday.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Labor Day

Today was really fun--my parents, along with my brother's and sister's families went to Seven Peaks Waterpark. I had never been there, even though I lived in Provo for how long as a college student? I guess it's the swimming suit thing--I never wanted to go there on a date in college, how horrifying would that be?! Now that I'm thirty and married I'm not any more comfortable in a swimming suit, but I guess I don't care as much. It's more important to have fun with my family.

I was proud of little Ty. He stayed in good spirits for the whole day...and we managed to keep sunscreen on his fair skin!

On Saturday our whole family was together to see little Carter get sealed to Scott and Mikell. It's already been over a year since Ty was sealed to us. What a neat occasion. It was neat to be together and Scott and Mikell hired a photographer so we were able to get some good pics, hopefully. I brought my SLR Nikon and took pictures while the others were being professionally photographed. I'm excited to see how they turned out.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

First Entry


This is our little family. My cute husband Brad, and our little guy Ty. Ty is actually a lot bigger now (almost two), so I'll try and get some new pictures taken.
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