1. Wetting my pants in the first grade. We were sitting there on our little carpets listening to Miss Murata read out loud. I asked if I could go, but she said no. So I went anyways. Right there on the carpet. I had to go to the office and wear borrowed clothing until my mom came.
2. In fourth grade, I tripped over someone’s chair and hit my head on a desk. I didn’t realize it was that bad until all the kids started screaming, “You’re bleeding!”. I had to go get stiches.
3. In third grade, I was showering in my parent’s shower for some reason, and I saw my dad’s razor. I decided to shave my face, just like he did. Only I shaved my WHOLE face, including my eyebrows! Oops! And it was the day before school pictures!
4. I got the lead in the school play: Sound of Music! Everything was going great until I fell down the stairs and my shoe flew into the audience and hit a lady in the head. After that, everybody was like, “Did you have a nice trip? See ya next fall!
5. In high school I was a DJ for a local radio station. As I was giving the weather report, I accidently said it was “farty” out, instead of “forty.”
6. My wedding day: we’re kneeling at an altar, pledging to love each other for forever. Brad gets through just fine, but when I get asked, instead of answering, my throat catches and I can’t say it!
7. On a triple date in college, we’re back from the event, just hanging out in our apartment. My roommate offers to crack my back (why, I can’t remember!) and when she does, I let out this big fart! Needless to say, I never saw that guy again!
8. My favorite teacher also happened to be the dad of the guy I really liked in 8th grade. When he found out I liked his son, (thanks, Kenny, for blabbing) he would say things like, “Is there anything you want me to put under his pillow tonight?” and “It’s okay if you like my son, just don’t start calling me dad!”
9. It was a snowy day at BYU, and I was walking home. I was stopped at a light, when a bus came by and totally drenched me with dirty slush! I had to walk home freezing and muddy and wet, with people staring the whole way.
10. I was singing at my brother’s wedding reception and forgot the words to the song I was singing. I ended up not finishing because I just couldn’t remember the words!
11. As a health teacher, I was teaching the kids the harmful effects of tobacco on the lungs. I had forgotten my overhead drawing of the lungs, so I just drew some up on the chalkboard. As soon as I did, the whole class started laughing! I didn’t know why, until I stepped back and saw what they saw: my drawing of lungs looked just like the male anatomy! I just said, “Oops...the sex ed lesson isn’t until next week!” Needless to say, I never attempted to draw anything again.
12. First day of college, I struggled to find my classroom on time. I made it just before the bell. The teacher came in and started lecturing. About halfway through, I realized I was in a senior literature class, not freshman English! I just bolted out the door and didn’t look back.
13. I was on swim team and was finishing a long practice. Only problem was I wasn’t feeling too well. Doing the breast stroke, I accidently swallowed a bunch of water as I was getting my breath. It resulted in throwing up my lunch all over the pool! You’ve never seen a pool vacate so fast!
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