Monday, December 18, 2006
My Sincerest Apology...
Dear Nurse at the After Hours Clinic in the Sandy Mall:
It must be hard working off-hours on a Sunday, dealing with people that can't wait to see their normal doctors on Monday. I'm sure I didn't make it any easier for you yesterday.
After seven days of non-functioning, and not getting any better, I decided I needed to come see you. Wearing my little mask they gave me to protect others from sickness, I gave you all my info: no meds except Ibuprofen and Sudafed...Oh wait, I did use my Albuterol inhaler on Wednesday night... No, I don't smoke...Started my period a couple days ago...On a scale of one to ten, my throat hurts an 8.5 or 9...Mother of a headache last night...still stuffed up...a little nausea...husband and baby had cold last week...aches...fever...terrible cough...yes, green sputum.
I sat up on the exam table like the perfect patient. You looked in my ears: all good. I breathed for you: lungs sound good. And then--I should have warned you, but I forgot. I was too relieved to be taking off the little mask (it gets hot in there!) that I didn't realize what was next. All of a sudden you stuck a stick in my mouth and another stick with a swab on it. I couldn't warn you about my overactive gag reflex. But you sure did find out about it, didn't you? And you also found out first-hand about the green sputum. Just be glad my nausea kept me from eating anything earlier in the day! As you wiped off your face and hands, I didn't even see one look of disgust! You, dear nurse, are a professional!
Test Results? Positive for Strep. I really do hope you have a good immune system, dear After Hours Nurse. So sorry.