Macaroni

Things were really good for a few months. No markers on the wall, no lotion all over the carpet, nothing broken or damaged. I admit, I got a little complacent. It felt good to be out of the Toddler stage, where I had to watch him every second.

That's why I was a little baffled when Ty came screaming into my room that something was stuck up his nose. No worries, though, we'd get it fixed. As I went searching for my tweezers, he sneezed, and out came a macaroni. I laughed, and said how great it was that his body took care of the problem by itself, but that he really shouldn't put things up his nose. He laughed, too. I laughed again as I told his dad, in front of him. Daddy laughed.

Hmmm....I guess we laughed a little too much and instructed a little too little.

The next day, same story, second verse: Tyler came screaming to me with yet another macaroni up his nose. (Note to self: when you spill some macaroni in the pantry, clean it up. Today!) He was trying to sneeze, and nothing was coming out, and he was a little panicked.

"It's not coming out! It's not coming out! I'm sneezing and it's not coming out! It's supposed to come out when I sneeze!"

Wait. He did this on purpose, just so he could sneeze it out again and we could all laugh again? (Note to self: laugh more at the positive things he does. Today!)

I got the tweezers. Too far up there, macaroni turned a bit soft, so I only got a portion. Reminded me of the time I got a live moth trapped in my ear and my dad pulled out a single wing, while the rest of the bug was frantically beating against my ear drum. But I digress.

Next I remembered the time my nephew Reed stuck a peanut up his nose. My sister awesomely blew up the unclogged nostril and the peanut popped out. I tried that on Ty. Nothing.

At this point I started to get a little worried. I went back to the tweezers. Nothing. Encouraged him to blow out his nose. Nothing. Blew his open nostril again. Nothing. Held him upside-down by his ankles. That's how my mom saved me from choking on a butterscotch hard candy once. I know he wasn't choking, but give me a break, okay? Anyway, nothing.

Brad came home at some point during all this and Dr. Daddy took over. With the tweezers. He finally stopped when Ty was wailing and thrashing around so much that if this were the game Operation, the buzzer would have been a solid BBBEEEEEEPPP!

Finally, the inspiration came to Dr. Daddy: Neil's Nasal Cleanse. This baby has been known to flush out pieces of infection and gunk that were soundly lodged deep in the cavities of the sinuses. Its powerful stream reminds me of our trip to Yellowstone to see the Old Faithful Geyser.

After reassuring Ty that this would not hurt, Brad let that deceptively benign-looking contraption do its thing. Out popped the half-dry, half-soft macaroni into the sink. Cheers were heard throughout the neighborhood.

"Are you ever going to stick anything up your nose again?"

"No Mommy. I guess sneezing doesn't work everytime."

"Nope, I guess not."