Monday, December 24, 2007

I had the perfect Christmas Eve all planned out:

  • A non-denominational community candlelight/Christmas carol service
  • A relaxing dinner out at a nice restaurant
  • An exciting drive to see the best lit homes of San Antonio
  • Back at home, a short, spiritual reading of Luke II, retelling the Christmas story to Ty, more singing.
  • A fun, happy opening of the Christmas Pajamas
  • Excitement of going to bed, knowing Santa is going to visit.

What really happens:

  • Tyler wakes up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, and whines all day long.
  • Braving the crowds for some last minute shopping, waiting as other people buy the "limited, closeout" item at Circuit City that we want, but our sales guy doesn't know what he's doing and can't reserve it on the computer. Finally, after asking 25 different people for help, we get the last one, but not before waiting in a whole other long line to retrieve the item.
  • Going to the bank to cash some checks, the bank teller gives us $250 instead of $25, so we have to turn around and wait in line again just to return money that she gave us erroneously! She was pretty thankful, though! :)
  • All of us currently on anti-biotics (for the second course) crash midday and try to rest a little.
  • We're still a bit fatigued, so we decide to ditch the candlelight service.
  • Time to go out to eat! Only our desired restaurant is closed.
  • Because of ravenous hunger, we decide to stay on the same road, so our choices are Sonic or Texas Roadhouse. We choose Roadhouse.
  • As we are waiting for our table, Brad eats some of the peanuts that they have there. Ty doesn't like peanuts and tells Daddy to stop eating them. Daddy says he can eat them if he wants. Ty starts to gag because Daddy is eating the peanuts (if you know Ty, you know that he gags all the time when he thinks something we're eating is gross).
  • Daddy continues to eat the peanuts.
  • Ty continues to gag.
  • Mommy asks Daddy to not eat any more peanuts.
  • Daddy continues to eat peanuts.
  • Tyler gags big, and then throws up all over Daddy.
  • Tyler starts crying.
  • Daddy takes Tyler to clean up puke.
  • We finally get seated.
  • Tyler won't walk to the table because "The peanuts make it dirty!". He's talking about the famous peanuts shells all over the floor.
  • Tyler so tired and whiny, Daddy has him lay his head on his lap.
  • Tyler doesn't quite have enough room for his legs to be straight, so he keeps pushing Daddy off the bench.
  • Mommy and Daddy tell Tyler to knock it off.
  • Tyler keeps pushing.
  • Daddy finally moves over to sit next to Mommy and gives Tyler the whole bench.
  • Mommy makes room for Daddy and in the process knocks her whole glass of ice water on Tyler.
  • Tyler screams in horror!
  • Daddy tries to use the cloth napkins to dry Tyler off.
  • Now Tyler screams because the napkin was his "pillow".
  • Mommy and Daddy decide to get the food "to go"
  • Once we're in the car, Ty is just peachy keen happy.
  • Mommy and Daddy aren't so happy with him.
  • We skip the Christmas lights drive, just wanting to go home and eat!
  • We get home and Daddy's order is without his mashed potatoes, rice, and beans! He's not too happy about it!
  • After dinner, Tyler screams that he doesn't know how to pick up his toys that we tell him must be picked up before Santa can come.
  • By this time, we just want him in bed, so we skip Luke II, play a round of Silent Night and call it good.
  • Mom and Dad have a discussion on whether he should be able to open his new pajamas even though he's whining and not picking up his toys.
  • We decide to just let him and get him in them and go to bed.
  • Tyler happily opens his pajamas.
  • Tired, whiny boy is out before his head hits the pillow.

How's that for expert parenting and creating the perfect holiday? Good thing there's tomorrow!

Merry Christmas!


  1. You gave us a good laugh before going to bed tonight. Sorry it was such a rough one!! I still think you're the best parents ever!! Love you and miss you tons. MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!

  2. oh sally! this is a crazy day! thanks for the laugh. we do our best right?

  3. I seriously sat here laughing out loud (trying to be quiet so I don't wake the kiddos!) as I read that. Thanks for the humor. Hope your Christmas Day went a bit better. :)

  4. Hee hee Plans and toddlers just do not mix, do they? :> Hope it got better...

  5. I bet his Christmas Eve will go down in the F* family history! Thanks for sharing it with the rest of us.

  6. I loved reading this down to earth, funny, honest experience. I can totally relate to wanting to create the perfect holiday and then it turning out totally different! Thanks for sharing!

  7. It looks like your attempt at a perfect holiday was successful in creating a memorable holiday experience even if it wasn't the one you had planned! I love reading your posts--you obviously have so much fun writing!

  8. Oh Man what day! That's a Christmas Eve to remember! I hope Christmas Day was an improvement!

  9. I think all those advertisers and film makers have really done us an injustice. We all have visions of the perfect Christmas...but reality never looks as good as our vision. I like that you didn't give up and kept trying! That's what we moms do...we just keep trying! Merry Christmas Sally!

  10. Sal,

    That sounds about like our Christmas Eve including the throwing up. You made us laugh hard. Hope you had a great holiday. We sure missed you!


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